argh

"Come on, oh my star is fading
And I see no chance of release
And I know I’m dead on the surface
But I am screaming underneath" -Coldplay (Amsterdam)

If anybody ever says that being a Christian is always all roses and daffodils, well, LOL. I had a pathetic day as I wrote this, right in the midst of being one. It's just been not fun.

I was listening to the lyrics above on my way home from work. Yeah, I was feeling that. I was really hiding some serious upset, but "screaming underneath."

It was so awesome, though, when I got to this lyric...

"Stood on the edge, tied to a noose
You came along and you cut me loose"

One thing I didn't really write in my story is that during part of the time before I became a Christian, I literally felt like I was dying. I was so depressed. I felt like the life was draining out of me. But when the Lord called me, it was like a new infusion of life. I s'pose that's just a small part of being "born again."

Like I said, it's not like you can't have a lousy day. But just thinking of this got me a little teary—and I'm not much of a crier. I have a lot to be thankful for, just being alive for one.

This just brought to mind a picture of what God did for me. It doesn't change events, but suddenly the day's not nearly as bad as it coulda been.

"...we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received the reconciliation." -Romans 5:11